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Welcome to this week’s installment of Batman Vs. Where Batman is pitted against various foes in a test of his physical and mental prowess. Here the question is not “Who wins?”, as the answer will always, of course, be the Dark Knight, but rather “how does Batman achieve victory?”

BATMAN VS

THE CHAMPION:

Batman. Creature of the Night, Black, Terrible.

THE CHALLENGER:

Spider-Man. Wall-crawler, Friendly Neighborhood Hero, Arachknight.

THE BATTLEFIELD:

A nondescript dock in New York City at night, site of Batman’s just-completed battle with the Sinister Six.

WHAT’S THE SCENARIO?:

After defeating a slew of arms dealers and Spider-Man’s deadly foes, The Sinister Six, a weary Batman is ambushed by Spider-Man and webbed up to a light post.

THE FIGHT!:

The weird figure that has ensnared Batman crawls down the light post and looks at the Caped Crusader with massive white eyes, and asks “Who are you?”

“I’m Batman!” retorts the vigilante as he smashes his head into his captor’s face and manages to press the signal concealed in his glove. Dazed, Spider-Man stumbles to the ground, quipping as he goes. Batman, oblivious to his foe’s comments, focuses on a point in the distance. Screeching through the sky, his Batwing flies into view. Releasing a line from the underside of the craft, Batman is hooked to the aircraft, and is wrenched free of his entrapment.

Using voice commands, Batman has the vehicle drop him on a nearby roof. As he clears off the stray webs still attached to him, the Batwing drops off a coffin-shaped item next to him. Opening the container, Batman retrieves a fresh utility belt, and a new cape and cowl, since his current one is cracked after the blow to his combatant. Reaching into the container, he produces another weapon, electric charged knuckles.

Coming from the edge of the roof, Batman hears a telltale “thwip” noise and turns to see a strand of gray webbing. Immediately, Spider-Man comes barreling over the side of the building onto the roof. Batman shakes off the exhaustion of his previous battle and instinctively lets fly a swarm of batarangs. Thanks to his uncanny spider-sense, Spider-Man expertly dodges them in sequence. A plume of smoke erupts in front of the Wall-Crawling Wonder and he strikes swiftly into the cloud, clearing it away and hopes to hit his enemy before he gets away.

Once the smoke clears Spidey realizes his rival has vanished. Composing himself, he surveys the environment, waiting for his spider-sense to give him guidance. Convinced he has lost track of his prey, Spider-Man leaps off the rooftop and returns to the storage container on the dock to investigate what the Sinister Six had planned.

While going through the contents of the container, the Web-Slinger hears the clatter of several blades. He turns to see more batarangs, but these are different from the ones before. Suddenly, his spider-sense goes into effect and the batarangs scream with a sonic pulse that disorients him and upsets his equilibrium. Knowing that his foe will take advantage, he lashes out with a barrage of webs. Shooting them out randomly, in the hope that one will catch the Batman. Eventually, one of the strands stops and Spidey pulls on it to test if he has caught something. This strand pulls back however, and Spider-Man is tossed through the air toward his goal. Recovering and still holding the first strand, he fires another at Batman. Batman clutches at the second line and smiles. Spidey looks at him as his spider-sense goes off, yelling at him of the imminent danger. Batman activates his electric knuckles that the webbing is now wrapped around.

The current travels down the webs to the defenseless arachnid hero. Electrocuted and stunned by the weapons, Spider-Man stumbles to the ground. Seemingly at the speed of thought, Batman is upon his prey, attacking him. After a few blows have hit him, Spider-Man is able to counter with a couple of hits. One strike to Batman’s head cracks this new cowl he has donned. Another, cracks more ribs.

Grunting, not so much as to acknowledge the pain, but more to silence it, Batman presses on. Realizing that his assailant will recover quickly, Batman decides to end the contest. He rushes in and dislocates Spider-Man’s shoulder. Howling in pain, Spider-Man smashes the wood under their feet. This compromises the already damaged dock. A crack louder than thunder occurs as the container crashes through the dock into the water below.

Grappling himself away from the destruction, Batman looks back to see canisters containing the super-steroid Venom, radioactive clay from the cave that created Clayface, Hugo Strange’s Monster Man serum, and other super weapons spilling out into the water.

Battered, the foes try to recover where they both have landed. Spider-Man having taken cover behind the still unconscious Rhino, yells to Batman that he will take him in with his accomplices, the Sinister Six. Puzzled, Batman replies that he is there to retrieve the arms shipment. Rising, the heroes face each other and realize their combined error. Having clearly heard his voice now, Batman inquires as to Spider-Man’s age. Taking off his mask, he reveals the teenage face of Peter Parker, surprising even the world’s greatest detective. Peter introduces himself as Spider-Man and Batman reciprocates.

Just then, an unearthly screech emanates from the water. The superheroes turn to witness the Sandman, now imbued by the various chemicals rising from the depths. Now a colossal sand-creature, Flint Marko shrieks and sees his perceived victimizers. Parker sighs at the predicament they now find themselves in. Batman grabs Parker and twists his arm back into place, apologizing as he does. Not allowing himself to recognize the pain, instead Peter tugs his mask back on and looks to Batman. United, the two turn and descend upon the danger that they will surely overcome.

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